A purple gnome brings some football magic [UPDATED]Published 12:28pm Friday, October 8, 2010 Updated 4:51pm Friday, October 8, 2010
I don’t know what goes on in the Underworld, but it is truly magically.
On Tuesday I came home from work to find a purple gnome in my living room. It was painted up as a football fan and had “Vikings” painted on it in a few places. The gnome, which was sitting near my television where I watch Viking games, was dressed like it was a Vikings fan.
Pretty cool, I thought. I’m not naive enough to think it magically showed up there and later found out Kathy bought it for me as a gift.
In the Harry Potter series, gnomes are pests that inhabit the gardens of witches and wizards. They are small creatures with heads that look like potatoes on small stubby bodies.
Gnomes are considered harmless but mischievous.
But here’s where the magic of gnomes come in.
Hours after first seeing the Vikings-decorated gnome in my livingroom I start seeing strange and mysterious rumors floating across my Twitter page. They all had to do with the Vikings, the Patriots, and a wide receiver named Randy Moss.
Was this the work of that gnome sitting in my livingroom.
By 10 p.m. the rumors were swirling around the Internet like a magical spell cast by Merlin the Magician.
By 8 a.m. Moss was a Viking. Now the work of gnomes usually show up in modern fantasy literature. But come this weekend, the work of my gnome just might show up in fantasy football.
I don’t believe in spells, witchcraft, or magic. I’m skeptical, even bored, when a magician is in the room. But the mystic powers of gnomes? This whole Randy Moss thing has me rethinking their power and questioning what Frank Baum in The Wizard of Oz, C. S. Lewis in The Chronicles of Narnia, J. R. R. Tolkien in The Hobbit and J.K. Rowling in her Harry Potter series knew about the powers of gnomes.
For example, if gnomes really are responsible for the Randy Moss trade then the elfish creatures also achieved two other amazing acts: One, they got me into our storage area where I dug out both a purple and a white “number 84” jerseys so I can run around this weekend supporting my team and its once legendary player. Second, they have teleported me back to the good ol’ days when there was peace in our football world and people like Randall Cunningham, Jeff George, Brad Johnson and Daunte Culpepper were sending Moss out on fade routes that would end with him jumping high over opposing defenders.
Monday night me and my purple Viking-clad gnome will be in front of my 42-inch screen watching a football game that, on paper, should be even more fun than the Monday night game a year ago when Brett Favre beat the Green Bay Packers.
I’m keeping the fantasy alive by starting both Favre and Moss in my fantasy league this weekend!
Jeff Hage is the managing editor of The Daily Journal. Reach him by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.Tags: Jeff Hage, Minnesota Vikings, Randy Moss