Make a resolution not worth keeping

By Dave Churchill (Contact) | The Daily Journal

Published Friday, December 29, 2006

There are several problems that crop up when the calendar does its annual roll-over to January 1.

First and foremost is the disappointment. We are used to disappointment, having just gone through the annual build-up and letdown associated with the Christmas season — or, at any rate, with its commercial and secular components. But New Year's Day delivers a new jolt simply by being just the same as the day before. Here we were, celebrating like crazy, and it turns out there was nothing much to celebrate. It will still be winter, still dark most of the time, still a war in Iraq, same old bills to pay. What, exactly, is new about it?

Only the date.

It used to be that we could at least take comfort in tradition, such as watching the Sugar Bowl, the Orange Bowl and the Rose Bowl. But now, eager to increase profits for the non-profit business of college sports, all the old bowls are gone, flushed away by names designed to honor not local produce but, instead, behemoth national credit card and rental car companies.

It just isn't the same.

But the real problem with the new year is that people make resolutions. They plan to quit smoking, to quit drinking, to start getting back into shape, to spend more time with family and friends, to save money, to stop gambling… And then, of course, they do none of those things — or they stop doing none of those things.

Resolutions cause a lot of angst. A quick Google search on resolutions revealed hundreds (maybe thousands, but I quit counting) of self-help-type articles on how to effectively make and keep resolutions. They tended to strike a familiar theme: Don't overreach, start slowly, be realistic, get support from your family and friends (which is particularly important if one of your resolutions is, “spend more time with family and friends.”)

The sad reality, though, is that perhaps 1 percent of resolutions will be kept, will really make any difference. I see it every year at the gym, where immediately after New Year's Day there is hardly room to maneuver amidst all the people keeping their resolutions. By mid-February, though, it's back to normal. So what does that make the lifespan of the average fitness resolution? About six weeks.

I was going to write a column about how ridiculous it is to make a New Year's Resolution. I see now that is pointless advice, no more useful than suggesting to a friend that he quit smoking. This space needs to be dedicated to a more outside-the-box kind of idea, and so here it is: Make a couple of resolutions. Yes, go ahead, resolve away, have a good time, brag about how you are going to make big changes in the New Year.

Just remember that the key to success is in choosing the resolution. Since you know you are going to break it anyway, have some fun. For instance, I could resolve to start smoking three packs a day. It would be a big change, because as far as I can remember I have never smoked a cigarette. I am clueless about hunching around outside in the winter on “smoke breaks.” I am not even sure how I could fit all that smoking into my schedule; perhaps I could spend less time with friends and family. And I don't own a lighter or even a book of matches.

But all that is OK, because I am going to break the resolution — indeed, in keeping with many other resolutions, I will never even start my new lifestyle. And here's the good thing: unlike many failed resolutions I will be much better off for not keeping this one.

So go ahead, resolve away. Choose right, and you can start the new year feeling good about breaking your resolution. It beats most of the alternatives.

Journal publisher Dave Churchill's column runs on Fridays.