Abstinence still the right choice for one woman

Published Friday, June 29, 2007

Summer is upon us and wedding bells are ringing. My mailbox produces a few wedding invitations. My friends have yet to receive a wedding invitation from me. Some years ago it caused me to wonder if I've done something wrong to still be single at my age.

I came to the conclusion that I've made the right decisions in regards to relationships with men. Then a fleeting thought crossed my mind that some of my friends made the wrong decisions and yet they ended up married, so what good have my good choices gotten me? It wasn’t long before the answer is clear. I have great peace of mind and no regrets.

Many times we may think of abstinence as an issue that only relates to teenagers and young adults. But abstinence or sexual integrity continues all the way up until marriage no matter how old a person is when they marry, and even if they don't.

The foundation for my decision to remain sexually pure began at a very young age. I can recall digging through a closet at home and stumbling upon a little red table and chairs for a doll house. I was very excited and asked my mom who it was for. She said she was keeping it on hand in case she needed a gift for someone. I really wanted that gift for me.

I kept sneaking back into the closet to admire the table set. I was jealous of whoever would receive the gift.

On my seventh birthday a few months later, I opened a gift that contained the little red table and chairs. Was I excited? No, I was disappointed. I had opened a gift before it's time and the thrill was gone.

When I was a bit older my mom talked to me about the importance of saving my body as a special gift for my future husband. Right away I remembered the little red table set and determined that I would not spoil the most precious gift that I could offer my husband on my wedding night, the gift of my purity.

In order to maintain my commitment to purity I kept an open communication with my parents. When I went out on dates I knew that I would be accountable to my parents and later close friends about what went on during my dates.

I set up standards of conduct that would help me avoid compromising situations. I set limits on what kind of physical interaction I would have. I have never kissed a man on the lips. I want to reserve my kisses for the man I will marry some day. This may seem extreme to some but drawing a line in the sand earlier than necessary prevents the temptation to go beyond the point of no return.

On my 30th birthday a few years ago, my parents presented me with another special gift. They gave me a purity ring to honor the commitment I had made years earlier and as a reminder to continue with that commitment.

It is my desire that some day I will be able to present this ring to my husband on our wedding night as affirmation that my heart and body was kept for him. Then I will be able to say with confidence that it has been worth the wait.

EvLyn Gilbertson, Volunteer at Health Resources LifeCare Center