Wedding day reminder of youth

By Debbie Irmen (Contact) | The Daily Journal

Published Thursday, January 17, 2008

Twenty-six years ago, as my friend and I held our infant daughters, we dreamed of the day they would get married.

Last weekend, that day arrived for her daughter. I don’t know about my friend, but as I printed up the programs the week prior to the wedding, I was quite emotional, tearing up as I recalled my many memories of the bride.

Born by C-section, she was beautiful. Her face then and now, reminded me of a China doll, with perfectly formed eyebrows and big eyes. She was, of course a beautiful bride.

I remember the frantic call saying the toddler was in the hospital and I cried when I saw her little body hooked up to various tubes. Thankfully, all turned out OK and she was released within a few days.

Her growing up years are filled with images of bathing suits, snowsuits and pajamas, as she and my kids played.

For several years, my family lived across the street from her family and they were some of the best years. My friend and I were comfortable with the kids going back and forth from one house to the other, as we did frequently for coffee or a cup of sugar.

As the bride grew up, she became more and more a young woman who you knew would succeed. She was focused on her goals and worked hard to meet them.

Watching her and her mom tackle the many decisions and tasks required for a flawless wedding, I knew the day would be special.

And it was. The bride was beautiful, though I still marvel at how quickly the time flew from her toddler day to now. The groom, obviously in love with the young lady walking down the isle, cried. The two had tears in their eyes nearly the entire ceremony. It was touching and brought tears to my eyes.

Watching the couple interact, I felt a deep respect for each other and don’t worry for their future. I think they will weather the ups and downs of marriage pretty well. My only hope is the downs won’t be too deep.

Weddings are so filled with hope, aren’t they? The young couple appear so innocent and fresh; so optimistic and ready to officially start their life as Mr. and Mrs.

The couple is honeymooning in Hawaii. Honeymoons are important in starting a marriage, I think. They allow the couple to decompress following the hectic planning and the all-day high of the special day.

It allows them time to talk over their personal experiences and memories of the day, because though they are one, they remain individuals, and giggle together.

A honeymoon allows them to create memories which are theirs and theirs alone — no family or friends. They will always have that “inside joke,” that no one else will understand, and will, in the years to come, bring it all back with a knowing look passed between them.

Everyone else will see the look, but will feel left out of the moment, and that’s as it should be.

Upon their return, they will put away their wedding gifts, go through the pictures and head back to work. The wedding day glow will fade; all will be status quo and routine.

Still, they will have their wedding day to recall, spent with several hundred of their family and friends, who showed their love and support, to carry them for a long time to come.

And we will all be watching as they write their own history as a couple which may include job changes, the birth of babies or house remodeling. I hope they will always feel the love of each other and when that seems dim, may their family’s love remind them of their own love for each other.

Debbie Irmen’s column runs on Thursdays.