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Important to provide hope after trauma
Published Tuesday, July 31, 2007
I was interested in the article on July 10 saying that abortions are rare in Otter Tail County.
Even so it might be a good idea to think ahead of time about how to respond to some one who tells us that they have had an abortion. It could leave you totally speechless as it may be someone you would least expect.
Some experts are estimating that 43 percent of women will have at least one abortion by the time they are 45 years old. If a friend tells you that she has had an abortion, be aware that you have just witnessed a miracle and that she has just given you a gift.
It is a miracle because of how reluctant most are to admit the fact. It is rare that a woman will tell someone else because it is too painful or has been repressed for so long. This is the reason that although abortion is common we know very few who will own up to the fact.
It is possible that a woman will tell us that she has had an abortion and that she believes that it was the best decision she ever made. If that is the case don’t try to talk the woman out of that belief. Rather we would be wise to respond with, “I am glad that you are not hurting after having had an abortion. Did you know that many women do suffer from what is called “Post Abortion Trauma?
“Here are some of the symptoms that some women experience after having had an abortion: suicidal thoughts, disturbing dreams or flashbacks from the abortion or about the baby, difficulty bonding with other children or in romantic relationships, increased promiscuity, eating disorders or depression, to name a few. If you find that you are suffering from any of these please know there is help for you.”
By doing this we will be giving the post abortive woman hope, the hope of understanding where her possible pain is coming from and that there is help.
It is important to never get angry with a woman who says that her abortion was a good decision or is flippant or hard about having had an abortion. These are coping mechanism and maybe the only coping tool she has.
Hopefully our responding in this way will give her hope of finding other, more effective tools.
Paula Quam - Fergus Falls
Comments
The Daily Journal is happy to host community conversations about news and life in Fergus Falls and the surrounding area. As hosts, we expect guests will show respect for each other. That means we don't threaten or defame each other, and we keep conversations free of personal attacks. Witty is great. Abusive is not. If you think a post violates these standards, don't escalate the situation. Instead, flag the comment to alert us. We'll take action if necessary. It's not hard. This should be a place where people want to read and contribute -- a place for spirited exchanges of opinion. So those who persist with racist, defamatory or abusive postings risk losing the privilege to post at all.Posted by Dubliner (anonymous) on July 31, 2007 at 7:28 p.m. (Suggest removal)
So it's not possible that ever having an abortion actually is a good decision?
Huh. It must be wonderful to know that much about every woman's situation.
Posted by James (anonymous) on August 1, 2007 at 10:52 a.m. (Suggest removal)
This is horrific. Why the FFDJ continues to give a voice to Paula Quam I don't know, but at least do a little fact checking. Didn't it occur to anyone that 43 percent of women getting an abortion is a little high? Really? According to who? I'm nearly certain that Quam is including miscarriages in her data, a sick and twisted way to inflate her numbers.
Not that this matters to the FFDJ.
Posted by Dubliner (anonymous) on August 1, 2007 at 3:53 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Or maybe not just miscarriages - maybe any woman who has taken birth control, the morning after pill, or even considered having an abortion, even if only for a minute.
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