I know you know the kind alright … inconsiderate high-pulp people. If you don’t think so, guess again. I am one. How does the old saying go? “It takes one to know one.” A childhood phrase taught when you’re caught by the very people who do the same. I could go on but let’s stick to the juice.

Shopping Pete and I did go. As we approached the orange juice section, we both lurched for that which held “high pulp” and readily agreed. Grab and go we did and this morning, like yesterday morning, with much anticipation, I read upon the label the words which lead to the said purchase and poured myself a cold one. 

You also know what they say about expectations (which today I am equating with anticipation). “An expectation is a disappointment waiting to happen.” As Pete puts it, “If you never have any expectations, you’ll never be disappointed.”

Funny thing is though I had little control over said expectation. My mouth started watering, and my mind began visualizing that slushy clog at the bottle neck of the jug waiting to pounce like a clump right into my glass. It just took over every thought without being invited in. If you wanna get all scientific like, I suppose you could call it innate. That’s it … the thought appeared to be more innate like just bubbling up uninvited. Or maybe I’ve been conditioned to hope and hoped like all get out that the clump of pulp would be mine … all mine!

Funny thing is though I wasn’t the first one to open the jug. Judging by the juice level which wasn’t exactly topped off, I was pretty sure there was no bottled up clog to pour out … anywhere. In hopes of getting something … anything … I shook the container to make sure I’d spread the pulp out evenly. Apparently, there was none to be had because as I drank up … it was obvious it had been used up.

Now understand this. I am not married to a selfish man. (Au contraire.) He puts me first in every way possible. He is a self-sacrificing and would never intentionally steal the pulp on purpose. But the fact remains, he did! 

Why would my selfless man take all? I’ll tell you why. Because apparently, when you are raised with five other siblings like each of us were, you grab the goods every now and again when you can or you assume it will be gone! The thoughtfulness of shaking the jar before one drinks from it isn’t even on the radar and thus, in our mid-60s, we are learning anew what it is we must do in order to maintain a sense of peace within the household … since it’s just he and I who wander around our abode.

And … at our age, we have become much wiser. Now I know what you are thinking. You are thinking we will have an adult conversation about the expectation of how we should act when we are the first one to lift high the container of the juice. You are thinking we will discuss it and respect one another accordingly by shaking the jar before drinking up.

Nope. Not at our age. At our age … we know what to spend our time on, and how we want to spend that time. The solution will be much simpler than retraining the brains of grabby high pulp people. At our stage of the game, next time when we reach for the juice in the store, we will not buy one … but we will buy two jugs of juice. Upon each one, we will write our names. That way, I figure, we can actually enjoy one another rather than try to change one another. And when he reaches for his juice the second day, he too, shall receive no pulp!

That, my friends, smacks of sheer wife wisdom! And my guess is that on Day 2 … like most men … he will not even think twice but simply enjoy his pulpless juice. Why? Because he truly had no mal-intent whatsoever to begin with. He just drank the juice.

Blessed are the poor in pulp … for they will give grace to overflowing kindness and patience with the other. And in the end…these three remain … faith, hope, and love. “And the greatest of these is love” (1Corinthians 13:13).  Amen.


Kathleen Kjolhaug is a columnist and can be reached at theologyinthetrenches.blogspot.com.

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